I know I skipped a couple of days; truthfully, it was good to have the break. I will just start from today and continue on to day thirty one.
Over the past year, have you experienced any major/minor life transitions? How has your life changed?
I initially felt it for the first time as my brother was preparing to leave for the Air Force back in July; I didn't know how it would happen or when, but my instincts kept telling me that life wasn't going to be the same, particularly with my family. When I first thought about it, it terrified me to the point where I was literally crying every day. I even cried for two weeks straight after he departed for basic training. This gut instinct was driving me crazy because I didn't know what it was leading to.
Looking back, I now see that it was more of an internal change- a change in myself as both a person and a woman. Granted, it's not a turn-your-world upside down kind of change. However, I believe it to be the beginning of something bigger.
It's a little weird to think of myself as a grown up, an adult, a woman. Although I'm only on the brink of my twenties and still in college, I look at it that way because of how I have grown and matured on an emotional level. I feel stronger. I feel more calm and at ease. I'm able to look life in the eye and mold whatever curve ball it hands me into something wonderful, regardless if it's positive or negative.
The best part is that I'm beginning to let go of a lot of things that have frequently made me my own worst critic and enemy. I am breaking out of unhealthy patterns that have kept me going in circles for the last five or six years. It is a freedom I have only felt very briefly once before, but this time I intend for it to continue.
I realize that I am being extremely vague here. I might have discussed this in previous blog posts, when I first experienced those feelings. The thing is, I don't want to simply tell everyone what's happening; I want them to see it.
The biggest lesson I can take out of this is that change doesn't just happen;you have to work at it each and every day. You have to hold yourself accountable for those changes. And it's always good to have some type of support system that is rooting for you every step of the way.
Regardless of where it may lead, I'm excited for the future and the opportunities that it will bring.