What have you done well in over the past year-the little stuff and the big stuff?
It's amazing how close to a year has passed, and yet it feels like it has been a lot longer than that. When I look back on where I was at this particular time in 2010, I marvel at how much has changed. I marvel at how much I have changed. And I am grateful; beyond grateful, actually, and filled with joy.
I consider myself having done very well in this incredibly long adjustment period; that is, adjusting to life in college, life in renting an apartment, and learning how to pave my own way. In other words, I'm not getting caught up in all the what-if's and the trials that have come with those adjustments. Instead, I am taking notice of all the beauty around me: my school, the people, and the small treasures hidden within each and every day. I am soaking it up like a sponge, determined not to miss a moment.
I also feel like I have learned how to manage living with Cerebral Palsy, especially since I am getting older. It is something that is still a part of my life and something that I still have to be considerate of. But I have slowly been putting on the back-burner and instead allowing my personal self to shine, as opposed to just my physical self. I have gained quite a bit of muscle and kept off the weight from having to walk six blocks to class almost every day. In what many might view as a curse, I view as a beautiful blessing.
To celebrate, I just allow myself to be happy. To smile until my face hurts, without worrying whether or not I look like a complete dork when I'm around other people. I'm laughing constantly, sometimes to the point where I think I might just pass out.
I've also been spontaneous; I've treated myself to frozen yogurt when it's forty degrees out (or below). I sometimes like to dress myself up for class, rather than just wearing sweatpants or a t-shirt. I plug in my ipod and dance around the room, regardless if my roommate walks in on me or not. I try to celebrate these things somehow, at least once a day.
With that, I will share this quote that I wrote in my journal awhile back. The entire thing doesn't completely relate to this post, but I'll put the whole thing anyway so that it makes sense.
Maybe it's not about having people accept us for who we are, but learning how to accept and love ourselves. Maybe the challenge isn't "getting there" but truly enjoying the process of getting there. And maybe we shouldn't always try to "figure it out", but rather allow the answers to reveal themselves to us in their own time.