December 24, 2011

A Different View

Day 24-Family


Recall a special moment with your family from 2011. Describe in detail about what you want to remember about this memory forever.


There were so many special moments, where I could easily write multiple posts about how just important they were to me. But none have ever felt more poignant then the moments I had with my parents. 


A lot of them involved the simplicity of being able to sit down and talk, even though the topics were often difficult to discuss. For most of my life I have struggled with relating to my parents, and this was especially true in my early teenage years. I always hated when either of them said "I know how you feel" or "I've been there." At the time, I always viewed the gravity of any situation I was in being a hell of a lot bigger due to the physical limitations that I had to conquer. Add the fact that I was super emotional, so most attempts at having a heart to heart usually went south. 


But I feel like in 2011, there has definitely been a turning point. For the first time in my life, I've been able to see them not just as parents, but as people. They're people who have feelings, struggles, and their own needs. That's not to say that I never knew that, but I hardly paid attention to it growing up. 


It was also for the first time that I actually let them in on what was going on in my life. It was especially difficult for me to do beforehand because I didn't want to be a burden in the midst of our financial hardships. I didn't believe that they would understand what I was going through, despite there being more truth to that then I've realized. But perhaps the biggest reason was the same reason I have often struggled with letting anyone else in; I wanted to prove that I could achieve the goals that I had set and do what everyone else thought to be impossible.


While I was away at school, I would frequently call them up and talk to them about my roommate, classes, and so on. I don't know how I would have been able to get through these last three months if I hadn't been able to be honest with them. Sometimes it was a matter of "I am so stressed out and I have no clue what the hell I'm doing!" type of conversation. I guess Mom's and Dad's have a way of doing such, but for whatever reason they always knew how to calm me down. It was a little less stressful knowing that I had their love and support, as opposed to constantly trying to come up with a way to sugarcoat everything. 


I think that all of this is because I am no longer a child, realistically. Our relationship less parent to child and more of adult to adult. They've both been to college, so they both understand the obstacles that come with that particular experience; my Mother especially has been in my shoes, being that I am at her alma matter. Whatever I happen to go through down the road, they will most likely know a lot about that too. 


I wish I could do more for them, other then helping around the house and holding down the fort when needed. They have both sacrificed so much so that each of us kids can get to where we currently are, and eventually get to where we want to be. My hope is that in 2012, they can find joy in doing things for themselves and not only for mine and my siblings benefit


I always try to tell them how incredibly blessed and grateful I am to have them. Sometimes I don't always demonstrate it to the best of my ability; nevertheless, I hope they know.

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