December 05, 2012

Shining Brighter

Day 5-I'm Glad We Met

People come and go from our lives. Some stay for the long run, but some also stay for a short period of time and then leave us when we're most vulnerable. Have you met anyone this year that has changed your life forever? 


At times I call them gems, and at times I call them rarities. Above all, they're the types of people that you can't find very many of them in the world these days, or at least when I'm currently living. 

There are women and there are men. I wouldn't say that I met all of them this year, specifically; I became friends with them initially while still in high school, or in the first couple of months of college. They have all taught me so many things; from there being more to the collegiate experience than just partying, and that it's perfectly OK to not always fit in on one side or the other, I would not have grown and matured in the ways that I have without those lessons. 

But I have a confession to make: when I did meet these people, they intimidated the crap out of me at first. I knew they were different, but to me they also came across as can-do-no-wrong, absolutely positively perfect. And I certainly viewed myself as a whole lot less than that, at least at that time. Up until this year, I had a tendency to think of myself as damaged, scarred, messy, and a dozen more different adjectives. 

Vulnerability did not come easy in those relationships. It took time to not only open up to them, but to do so and not feel ashamed afterward. There are at least one or two that I still haven't really done that with yet, and would like to talk with soon. Not because there is a time-table, but because I don't want any barriers between us anymore. I want to live out the freedom of no longer hiding from someone that I truly do care about. 

And that's where the learning comes in: over time, I realized that not only do I hold myself to higher standards, but I elevate my loved ones as well. I assume that they're untouchable, when in reality they're either very private, or are naturally just extremely positive. And neither are bad qualities at all!

More than anything, they're human beings with flaws, insecurities, pain, mistakes, and the like. 

I learned to not look up at someone and idolize them with starry eyes. And I've learned to not look down on anyone with pity and act like I'm above them. 

Rather, I am learning to look at them face to face. Eye to eye. From one human being to another, I want to communicate a message of love, respect, and acceptance. 

Occasionally I find myself wondering if I do enough to show others that I care. I say it out loud, but try to do my best not to do so to the point where it sounds forced or not completely genuine. 

I like to hug people, and I consider physical touch my love language. I'm told that I have very strong arm muscles. That is another way, if not the primary way. 

And I hope they know that. 

Many are graduating in 2013 and will go on to new chapters in there lives. Whether or not that chapter will include me and in what way, I don't know for sure. But what I do know is that God puts people in our lives and takes them out for different reasons. All I can do is take hold of the here and now, and enjoy it the best that I can. 

To you, my beloved and precious friends, I'm glad we met. No matter where we go or what path we take, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Keep shining the way you always have been, and you will change the world in more ways than you know. The way that you have changed me.

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