I've been subscribing to blogs, reading blogs, but haven't really taken the time to personally blog myself. Don't get me wrong, I've had the time and ability to form about a million topics in my head, but my brain has been going about a million miles an hour for the last month or so, and I haven't really been able to actually slow down up until this point.
Perhaps the most relieving event that has taken place is that I'm officially going to college. After five weeks of agonizing and wondering what exactly was going on, I finally recieved a letter in the mail congratulating me on my acceptence. Well no, it didn't quite go like that. Both my mom and I had been making frequent trips to the mailbox and coming back empty-handed. By that point I felt as if I were grasping at straws; alot of my friends were getting accepted to that particular school or just getting accepted to their first choices in general. After not recieving anything yet again, I went online to my admissions profile to see the word admitted sitting next to my application status.
To say the least, I was overjoyed; I screamed, yelled, shed a few tears that all kept me awake until three o'clock the next morning. I did shortly afterward sit down and talk with my parents about it. I had been accepted to two other schools and was bit torn between going down to Florida and sticking with the midwest. Despite the lure of the warm weather and attraction of being able to go to the beach, I ultimately stuck with my first choice. There was no sense in trying to debate between the two.
And it's true, I have been wanting to go there for as long as I can remember. No, I won't say what school exactly, (given that this is the internet) but it is a Big-Ten University with a fabulous creative writing program. One of my friends suggested it to me during my sophmore year of high school, just as I was beginning the initial dig of looking into colleges. Fast forward almost two years, I can still recall when I felt like I knew. My mom and I had just finished the group tour and were doing a bit of independent exploration; we went into drinking coffee at one of the local coffee houses when I told that this place was it. She told me, "I know, because you're feeling the same way I felt back when I stepped on this campus for the first time almost thirty years ago."
And despite having to wait and constantly ponder the "what-if's" of the whole thing, I just had a feeling in my gut that that's where I was going to go.
Yet make no mistake, the hard work doesn't stop at an acceptance letter; in fact, it's still on very much of a hinge since this is only the end of the first semester. But at least I have a motivation, an initiative.
To add to that, there is alot of skepticism regarding my ability to survive both physically and emotionally on that big of a campus. I cannot give any answers at this moment, only to say that I've accomplished so much in my life and beaten the odds so many times. So why stop now?
I still have a long way to go, about seven months to be exact. For now, I'm going to enjoy what I have and be grateful to God for this opportunity. It's definately a blessing, and one that I won't just sweep under the rug.