And Now I Let Go

I wrote this poem in response to a decision I made over the course of last weekend. I have written about him before, so some may know who I am talking about, while others may not. I had a bit of a Taylor Swift angst moment while I was writing this, but it was not easy to describe the torment I felt while writing. Since the semester started, I have prayed on numerous occasions in regards to where God is leading me in this particular relationship, and I knew that I wasn't going to have any peace or be able to move forward unless I drew a bold and firm line. He meant the world to me, and a part of me will always love him, but it's time. I just can't hold on anymore.

Revolve

You’ve come through my heart so many times

Long ago I lost track

You told me that you loved me and you’d always be there

Somehow or some way,  you’d take it back

I forgave you once, forgave you again

Believing you’d someday turn around

I kept hoping and wishing while you just kept hitting

It started to bury me into the ground

Now I won’t say that I hate you

Yet I’m tired of crying all the time

I ask and I wait and you don’t show up

So what am I supposed to do now?

Say God doesn’t give you anything that you can’t take

But this isn’t working anymore

I’m going to gather my strength

I’m going to get myself together

And walk out that revolving door

This has little to do with what I deserve

And more about what I need

Someone that will follow through with he says he’ll do

Be an adult and own his mistakes

Encourages me to be better person and a light in my life

The hardest part isn’t avoiding conversation

Or letting you go all together

The pain of it all is no matter what I do

I’ll always care for you

But just because I care doesn’t mean that it’s right

Time to close the door and say goodbye