February 15, 2013

And Now I Let Go

I wrote this poem in response to a decision I made over the course of last weekend. I have written about him before, so some may know who I am talking about, while others may not. I had a bit of a Taylor Swift angst moment while I was writing this, but it was not easy to describe the torment I felt while writing. Since the semester started, I have prayed on numerous occasions in regards to where God is leading me in this particular relationship, and I knew that I wasn't going to have any peace or be able to move forward unless I drew a bold and firm line. He meant the world to me, and a part of me will always love him, but it's time. I just can't hold on anymore.


You’ve come through my heart so many times
Long ago I lost track
You told me that you loved me and you’d always be there
Somehow or some way,  you’d take it back

I forgave you once, forgave you again
Believing you’d someday turn around
I kept hoping and wishing while you just kept hitting
It started to bury me into the ground

Now I won’t say that I hate you
Yet I’m tired of crying all the time
I ask and I wait and you don’t show up
So what am I supposed to do now?

Say God doesn’t give you anything that you can’t take
But this isn’t working anymore
I’m going to gather my strength
I’m going to get myself together
And walk out that revolving door

This has little to do with what I deserve
And more about what I need
Someone that will follow through with he says he’ll do
Be an adult and own his mistakes
Encourages me to be better person and a light in my life

The hardest part isn’t avoiding conversation
Or letting you go all together
The pain of it all is no matter what I do
I’ll always care for you

But just because I care doesn’t mean that it’s right
Time to close the door and say goodbye

1 comment:

Miss Ashley said...

I'm sorry that you feel so much pain about this particular situation. Letting go to the wrong thing only gives way for the right thing to fit in, though.

Praying for you doll.