I'm in the midst of taking my first semester finals, and I'm amazed at how the first half of senior year has already come and gone. It was an all right one, but one that was definately full of stress and a ton of crap that I'm glad to have put behind me (for the most part).
I won't deny that I'm dealing with a bout of senioritis; I'm sick of being in classes that I don't get very much out of and that I don't even have to neccessarily be in (I only signed up for them because they were prerequisites for the schools I wanted to get into). I'm sick of wearing a uniform that I usually either freeze in or a sweat like a pig in, and not to mention that it's made of almost pure plastic. I'm sick of waking up before sunrise every morning, running around for seven hours, and then barely having any energy to do anything when I get home.
Frankly, I'm just bored.
On the other side of things, I'm not in that much of a rush to graduate. I constantly hear "oh I'm so ready to be done!" and in a way I agree with them. But yet I personally feel like there are so many more things I want to do and alot of memories that I want to make. I don't wanna be going through the motions by just going to school, coming home, doing my homework and then doing it all over again for the next four and a half months or so.
Right now I'm not particularly scared of anything related to graduating or college; those fears will most likely set it around sometime in July and August. What I'm scared of most is letting the next semester go by while I'm just sitting around thinking about stuff and not actually pursuing it. Thats what I tend to annoy myself the most with; making plans but not having those plans come to fruition.
And I think I speak for most if not all seniors when I say that I've worked my butt off up to this point, and I'd like to relax and have fun. That doesn't mean completely throwing in the towel and saying "adios!" to homework and studying (even though deep down it really would be nice). It just means not completely focusing on school all the time and allowing yourself to let your hair down a bit.
I've done alot of things and had many opportunities in life that most kids can't speak for. However, deep down I feel a little bit of jealousy. I hear about or see pictures of simple things, like sitting in the basement and just talking or taking a random trip to 7-11. I have had experiences like that, but not so much in high school. And I believe that the simplest things often times turn into the best memories.
So that's why I'm making a list, a bucket list if you will. Whether or not I do it all before I graduate or before I go to college will vary. But I'm not worried about when I'll make those accomplishments, but who I'll be with when I do it. As the saying goes, "It's not what you do, but who you're with that matters."