July 23, 2009

A Time to think

It's been four days since I had surgery, and for the most part I'm doing really well. The operation itself went smoothly; no pins were needed this time, and I've been taking painkillers on an every-six hour basis. I'm at my grandparents right now, due to my Dad working and Mom being with my brother at Nationals; their house is only one level and its alot easier to get around. I am blessed to have an amazing little sister and two wonderful grandparents that have been taking care of me. :) I only wish the pills didn't make me wanna fall asleep all the time.

I've had alot of time to think and reflect, being that I'm required to keep my foot elevated and only walk around if needed. I've been told this many times in my life, and probably will need to be reminded many more. When it all comes down to it, it really is what you make of it. To be more specific, it's your attitude that will determine how you handle what you're given in life.

I know that some may be reading this and thinking "Ahh, she finally got it!" To be truthful, I've never been an optimistic person, and I think it's one of my weakest attributes. I think it was at some point during my junior year where I got tired of being upset, tired of worrying all the time, and tired of feeling like crap.

I can vividly recall hearing a messege last year in church that relates very strongly to what I'm talking about. The pastor's Grandmother had gotten hip replacement surgery and she was getting ready to go home. Now I can't quite remember what was said exactly after that, but then the doctor leaned over and told her "God has done his part, now you have to do yours."

After hearing that, I came up with a quote of my own:
You can pray to God and ask for the strength to walk, but you have to be the one that's willing to take the first steps.
It has stuck with me today, especially when my Mom came and told me that I had to get the surgery done. I was definately upset at first; I had the notion that I would spend the remaining part of the summer in pain, not being able to go out a whole lot, and not being able to play powderpuff senior year. (Yeah, that's what I was thinking at the time. haha) But than I realized that having that kind of attitude really wasn't going to do any good, and decided to count my blessings instead. And that is what I'm still doing, even as I type this. I've gotten to spend three days with my Grandparents, who've doted on me and spoiled me more than needed. I've been able to catch up on the books I've been reading, as well as being able to thank God for what I have.

It most certainly isn't an easy thing to do, looking on the bright side. And I mean that for everyone. I'm still a human being (a teenager, no less) and will probably slip up from time to time. But thats how life is; you have your good days and your bad days, your good traits and your not-so good traits. In the end, if you learn a good lesson from it, that I believe is what ultimately matters.

July 15, 2009

Current Happenings

My first college application has been sent in, and so begins what a good portion of senior year is all about. I'd say the hardest part is the essay; I haven't gotten one with an exact topic as of yet, but they did ask for a written statement. It's basically a written letter explaining why you want to go to that school, and why you should be accepted. I don't know about anyone else that's written those things, but it can be hard. It seems like you really have to know why you want to go to a particular school, and have valid reasons.
And I did have reasons, but it was challenging to put them in paragraph form because I'm not sure right now if thats what I want: I don't know if I want to be on a campus where everything is close together, where the classrooms are smaller, and where if you don't know everyone's names, you will eventually know their faces.

But what I do know, is that I want an experience that won't feel like high school. I want it to be different, and I want it to be broad (if that makes any sense).

I'm visiting WIU this weekend to see what a medium-sized campus is like, as well as the actual school. I did do alot of research on the website, and it looked decent. But like all things, the internet can't tell you everything you need to know. I'm just trying to keep an open mind and heart, and praying that whatever college I eventually choose will be the right one.

In other news...

I'm getting foot surgery this coming Monday, the day after I come home. I'm getting a bunionectomy on my left foot, very similar to the operation that was done on my right foot two years ago. I was going to have it origonally done in the fall, but our insurance is changing real soon and there weren't a whole lot of options.
Like all happenings in my life, I'm trying to focus on the positive side. Granted, I wasn't (and deep down, am still not) very happy about having to do this during the summertime. But the more I've thought about it, the more I've begun to consider it a blessing in disguise. I'll get it out of the way and won't have to worry about falling behind and getting around school. I'll be able to take those months and focus more on what really needs to be focused on.

Through it all, I know that everything will be fine. Life doesn't always go the way we plan, but all I can do right now is remember that I am in God's hands, and just go with the flow.

July 07, 2009

Family Matters

My family (Mom's side) and I spent this past weekend up at my Aunt and Uncle's lake house for the 4th of July. Aside from the little bit of rain we got and the chilly water, it was perfect. I spent alot of time tubing with my cousin and sister, and we were all treated to my Uncle's anual fireworks display saturday night.

Last night I took my sister and her friend to see My Sister's Keeper. I can't really say I enjoyed it all that much compared to the book, although that happens in most cases when I watch movies that are based on novels. I won't give away the ending, but it was definately a tear-jerker. I gave my sister a big, long hug after it was over.

My mom made a comment last night about how proud she was of me and my siblings. Not just because of our academic and activity-related accomplishments, but because of how we are when it comes to family-related things. Although I can't speak for how the two of them feel, but I myself really don't mind going to get-togethers or outings. I think its awesome that my Grandparents take us out to movies and/or lunch whenever they can, and that I can see my family as often as I do. I've learned to really appreciate all of it because I know various people that don't have what I have. Plus, I know that there will come a time where I won't have it as much.