Happy 2015, Dear Readers!! After dancing my boots off in the heart of downtown Chicago, I'm glad to be getting back into a solid routine again. I feel incredibly motivated, which is a surprise considering I normally feel drained during the month of January; not only have the holidays passed (and the blues have set in), but in my neck of the woods it tends to get insanely cold to the point where it's dangerous to go outside. Typically this makes me want to hunker down and hibernate, but to my surprise that's not the case this year. This week in particular has been fabulous because I got a lot accomplished, and I credit that to the goal of doing something right when I think of it, rather than putting it off.
Good things come to those who wait, but good things also come to those who don't procrastinate.
It's true that I've developed a habit of pushing tasks to the side, more so if they involve important conversations, emails, and the like. I would tell myself that I needed more time to emotionally prepare, or at least wait until nightfall so that if I read or talked about a subject that would naturally upset me, I could let it out when no one else was around. And I would be done for the day so I wouldn't be wasting time crying when I could be getting stuff done.
These days, it's less about fear and more about weirdness or discomfort. I recently described it to a friend as that sensation I experience when on a roller-coaster; the kind of weightlessness that causes my entire body to clench up, and from a scientific perspective I believe it's called G-Force or something like that. It's not necessarily a bad feeling, but it's not one that I'm fond of either.
That's what I experience when thinking about the future, about meeting new people and/or joining groups and getting involved with life. It's not scary, but it can be hard to envision myself in that position for whatever reason.
Yet, often times the only answer is to do it. And the more I do it, the more comfortable I will become.
The job search is still on in full force, but I'm trying to take a different approach, rather than just applying on websites and doing dozens of interviews at one time. Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that, but it personally became draining by the time December rolled around. I'm learning that there is absolutely no shame in asking for help and/or being mentored by someone that knows what they're doing. As much as our culture emphasizes this whole lone wolf mentality, the idea that true success can only happen by your own strength, I'm finding it all to be completely false. Whatever you accomplish and however you go about doing it, at the end of the day there's always someone to thank, even if you're too stubborn or prideful to admit it.
Nobody does anything worthwhile without the guidance and influence of someone else.
It's not easy, especially when you spend a lot of time with people who seem to have their lives together (i.e. jobs, relationships, confidence, and overall experience). I have moments where I wonder when on earth I'm going to catch a break, whether it be getting hired, getting published, and/or connecting/reconnecting with certain people. Life as a post-graduate is unpredictable, and that gets frustrating after a while.
But I things are happening, even if for the moment they're not monumental or worth shouting on the rooftops about. I will continue to do what I do and celebrate the small victories, along with not beating myself up when I mess up or fall short in the process.
Yes, this train is moving, even when I don't feel it. And for that I'm grateful.
photo credit: Paul-W via photopin cc