It is amazing how time has gone by; almost a month into the semester and so much has happened. There has been joy and there has also been pain. I've had to confront truths about myself, about certain relationships, and even the kind of people that I allow into my life. But despite the difficult moments and the fears, I feel like I've grown and matured a lot in just a few short weeks.
Throughout each day, I keep hearing the words "cherish this" over and over again. Not because this chapter in my life will come into an end in a few months, but because of how important it is to just be in the present moment and focus on what's happening right now.
Cherish the times when you get to be vulnerable and honest, even when it means admitting things about yourself and your life that you've been trying to ignore. I feel so much closer to my friends (especially the girls) than I have in a long time because I stopped trying to hide. I'm probably not the first person to say this, but keeping stuff to yourself does not ultimately make it easier to deal with. I may not have lied outright, but I kept a lot of details from my friends in hopes that the situation would solve itself. And while I know I don't have to share everything, I also believe that love involves telling the truth and making an effort to connect with others.
I've realized just how important it is to be surrounded by people who add substance to my life. Upon going back to school, I took some time to think about who I genuinely want to have quality time with in these next three and a half months. Don't get me wrong, I'm naturally a people person and love getting to know them. But realistically, I can't be close with everyone. There just isn't enough time in each day to have that kind of connection.
Despite the emotional bumps, I've been keeping busy in other aspects. In April I'll be running my first 5K race (and crossing another item off the college bucket list). That's requiring quite a bit of training, so I've been working out in some way almost every day, whether it be going to the gym or doing a home routine. My eating habits have slightly evolved as well, although I won't deprive myself of pasta, pizza, or the occasional burger. It has been a lot of work, but I also feel better (physically) than I have in a very long time! And it liking what I see in the mirror is a definite perk as well.
The only thing that has me going is that there is so much to do, and it's like I'm being pulled in a million different directions. This is partially why I haven't been blogging very often. I do have a lot to say and I want to say it, but I also want to make sure that it's thought through and well written. More specifically, I don't want to write something purely for the sake of bringing in traffic if it's just going to look like crap. Blogging has a lot to do with the direction that I want to take my career in (or for right now, lets just say in the direction of technology and social media) so I want to be invested in this properly and for the right reasons. Given my schedule can get a little hectic, there's a chance that my posting might be somewhat irregular for a while. If nothing else, I'll do one thought-provoking post per week and two light ones the next. I don't know how that will go, but it seems to work for now.
I never thought I would want this blog to become some sort of brand, if you will. I never thought I would want to write about heavier aspects of relationships, living with Cerebral Palsy, and issues within Christianity and The Church. I've been scared to, and in a way I still am. But when it comes to making a difference (especially with writing), you have to have the ability to be vulnerable, and be able to take heat for that vulnerability. With that being said, I'm looking to give my blog and make it look more professional. If anyone has any ideas or knows of anyone who could help me with that, it would be much appreciated!
Thank you to all those who've stuck with and continue to stick with me, and welcome to those who are new. If you haven't done so already, feel free to keep up with me on Faceboook and Twitter!
Again, thank you for the support! I can only continue to write and pray that it grows as time goes on.
Breathe. And cherish this.
photo credit: blue velvet sea via photopin cc