June 10, 2013

The Town That Pushed Me

Let me start off by saying that I did not write this with the intention to bash my hometown or anyone in it; since I've been home for the last couple of weeks, I'm having a hard time fathoming the idea of possibly having to move back in a year, along with some of the things that have happened over time. Regardless, this is my attempt at being honest about how I feel, and trying to sort all of my thoughts out. 




The Town That Pushed Me

The familiar sign comes into view
“Welcome to a life from long ago”
A small town disguised as a city
A place where I once believed that I could grow old in
Ideal for a child
But not anymore

There’s the church where I first fell in love
A boy so sweet and kind I thought it would be forever
Yet it wasn't meant to be
He left me without an explanation
I could only hold on for so long
Until it held me back

From the backyard lake to hill of the high school that I didn’t go to
We were so close for three years
Some of my  best memories as a teenager
He faded away into the background as high school graduation came and went
I wonder what he’s doing now

If the walls of the house could talk
They’d have a lot to say
They’d tell stories of bonfires, barbecues and sleepovers
Along with the times filled with so much pain

They say it’s your hometown roots that shape you and help you grow
Yet I didn’t start to discover who I truly was until I left
Now that I’m getting older I’ve realized
It’s like a pair of jeans that no longer fit

Once you’re a butterfly and you’ve flown away
You really can’t go back
Now that I know what’s beyond this place
I have such a hunger for adventure
An ache for a playground
Where here I feel so confined
Limited, but not locked in a cage

Is there such a thing as reconciling the past with the future?
A happy medium between love and I hate
There’s no way in hell I’ll let myself burn out
Or take what just gets handed to me

This isn’t the town that saved me
But the one that pushed me
I have to keep going on 

photo credit: Pandiyan via photopin cc

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