Break Through

I wrote this after an emotionally liberating counseling session; I had discussed my personal history with those in the group, and the response was overwhelming. It clarified a lot of misconceptions I had held onto about relationships, and I felt a little bit lighter afterward. 

I do plan on writing a blog post about all of this at some point; right now, however, I don't feel like I'm in a place where I can discuss it without fear or apprehension. So for now, I wrote this. 

Break Through

I’ve been told a lot of lies about love

And I believed them

You can see it in my eyes that I’ve got a few things to work out

Trying not to cry or shake in fear as I walk down the street at night

This isn’t normal or healthy, and good Lord it isn’t right

For many years I carried it in me

That you had to be in this perfect place

In order to have a special someone in your life

 I called myself “Miss Independent”

So I wouldn’t have to be co-dependent

And all along I yearned for a connection

Something that I haven’t really had since I was sixteen

Despite all the chatter I don’t think it’s all that bad

For a relationship to change your life for the better

To push you and keep you grounded

To realize what you’re really capable of

But it’s not just about getting, or even about giving

It’s about learning to live and relate with other human beings

We don’t need one lone person to save us

 But it’ll take the support of others to save ourselves

So it’s time to put down the Cosmos and turn off the computers

Instead putting pen to paper and taking time to see

Not all men are vicious monsters

Some of them have broken hearts

And all of them have a history

I’ve put a barrier up for a while now

And if I want to have a long-time love, it needs to be taken down

Because there is no fear in real love

No need to prove that you’re good enough

It’s going to take some time to break through it all

But I have to break through

In order to break free