Limitations...?

"You have limitations" 

I was verbally and constantly reminded of this during my first semester; it was an incredibly frustrating thing to hear, given that college itself was supposedly beyond my limits. What was with people and trying to keep me inside this imaginary box-like area that I felt as though I had been in all of my life? Wasn't the point of going away to school to get away from that?

These days the comments have stopped, for the most part; I'm sure that a lot of people still worry about me, but I think they realize that once I decide to do something, there really is no way of talking me out of it. 

Yet, reality has come back to bite me where it hurts on more than one occasion; getting physically sick because I stayed up until three in the morning multiple nights in a row, feeling pain in my right leg at times from putting too much weight on it, and having back aches every once in awhile because I tend to a carry a very large and often heavy backpack. There are times where at the end of the day, all I can think about is the moment where I'm able to crawl into bed and get some shut eye. 

Logically, it would make sense for me to go to bed earlier and/or not go out on the weekends, carry fewer books or ditch the back pack all tgoether. For the longest time, I was stubborn and refused to do that even to the slightest degree. 

Due to what I have and the way I live my daily life, many people that don't know me real well probably expect me to turn around and go the other direction once I come across a roadblock; but that usually isn't what happens. I tend to do whatever it takes to get past it-under, over, around, through, etc. Even so at the point of burning myself out. 


At the same time, going outside my comfort zone or "that little boxed area" has allowed me to discover new things about myself and have confidence in my abilities.

Yes, I am primarily going to college to get an education, but that is not the only thing. Medically-speaking, I will have a mild handicap for the rest of my life; however, that does not mean that I cannot get stronger. So that is my other goal, albeit one that I rarely speak of. It's why I work out, willingly forgo the bus and walk to my classes, and do a lot of things that make people look at me and go "you're one crazy girl!"

I am doing so not for the sake of cure, since I do not have a disease. But rather, I am doing such to overcome. 

On the other side of things, particularly this semester, I've realized that goal will not be reached if my health is compromised. I allow myself to take brief naps during the daytime, because going to bed before eleven o'clock just doesn't happen at this stage of life. On the weekends, I usually go out one night and stay in the next, or vice versa. Depending on how crazy the week is, sometimes I'll stay in for the entire weekend. It's all based on how I feel. 

In retrospect, everyone has limitations; if one bends over too far backwards, they will reach a point where they eventually break. 

It's important to be honest about what you want, but it's also important to be honest about what you need as well.