Lately, I've been experiencing a lot of ups and downs.
But I'm happy
I've been struggling with certain things and most of the time I never know how to talk about them or who to talk to about them.
But I'm happy.
This semester has been tougher than last; tougher in the sense that there is more work to do, the newness of everything has sort of worn off, and occasional bouts of drama have arisen.
Despite all that, I'm happy, and I still maintain my view that this has been one of the best things to happen to me in the last four or five years.
I was reading an article in People Magazine with Jennifer Aniston on the front cover; she was doing an interview and even though it's been six years, she was still being asked about the whole Angelina/Brad scandal; along with that, whether or not she was happy with where she was currently asked in her life.
somewhere in the interview, she quoted a phrase that really kind of struck me; she said "I don't believe anyone that says they're happy all the time. You have to have a little bit of both light and dark."
I have never really thought of it that way, at least until now. I've been told repeatedly that it's impossible to be genuinely happy every single day, but I can't say that it has ever really made sense to me until now. Maybe because it's coming from the Hollywood-dubbed postergirl of heartbreak and supposedly being unlucky in love? Or maybe it's just because I'm older and am now hearing it from a different perspective.
Nonetheless, I've been coming to a few different conclusions over the past week: that I shouldn't be so hard on myself, because even the most confident people have their own insecurities; they're just good at hiding them from others. If I'm confiding in someone about an issue and they look at me like I'm absolutely crazy, than either I've been talking to the wrong person or they probably shouldn't be in my life. And as harsh as that may sound, I've learned that if you're baring your soul to someone and they're going to do/say everything without any kind of love or understanding, then what's the point? That's what people who truly love you (and vice versa) are supposed to do.
Also, it's perfectly fine not to have this whole college thing down to a science, because chances are, no one does. Every single one of us is on a different journey and will have different experiences; in hindsight, we're all making mistakes and learning new things.
All of that aside, I'd say that I'm pretty blessed to be where I'm at right now; I have a wonderful family that loves me and supports me in everything I do, a ton of friends (both new and old) that I cherish, and many other little things.
I've ultimately learned that the tough times are what make you stronger; and even though I have walked through a few rainclouds thus far, I feel like I'm getting stronger every day because of it.
And that my friends, is what life is all about.