It's been awhile since I've posted here, that I know. Since coming to college, I've been on the go more than I'm used to, which has good advantages as well as not so good. In the first few weeks of being here, I have felt a certain kind of joy that I haven't felt in the last couple of years. Maybe it's because I'm finally in a place where I want to be; a place where I'm one hundred percent comfortable with being myself. I don't have any doubts or questions whatsoever about being on campus.
And if anyone were to ask me to describe how this whole experience in one word, only this comes to mind: natural.
Since I've gotten here, it's as thought everything has been coming together like pieces of a puzzle; I'm on a floor with a wonderful group of people, whom in the last few weeks have pretty much become a second family to me; we're a pretty rambunctious and somewhat crazy group of eighteen-nineteen year-olds, but I think we're all perfectly fine with that (or at least I am). When going out, I haven't felt pushed or prodded to explain myself physically; if ever I need help walking up or down a set of stairs, or holding onto somebody's arm to keep up, they're willing. For the most part, I don't hesitate to ask for assistance in regards to certain things, such as doing my hair or carrying my books. It's wonderful knowing that I've finally gelled with a group of people, as though I finally belong.
Walking around campus, I am constantly looking around this picturesque place and asking myself "Is this really real? am I really here?" There are many moments where I've stopped to take it all in and thank God for such an opportunity is that. Call this corny or cliche, but I teared up at the freshman convocation at the realization of how I truly am blessed to be here. No, I wouldn't call it lucky at all, because being in college isn't about luck. It's an opportunity that you have to continuously work for, and as the saying goes, you reap what you so.
And it's definitely not like high school, at least in my eyes. There are no walls to feel confined or suffocated by, that of which in the past has driven me to hide and not be who I really am. There are so many opportunities and things to choose from that are like a breath of fresh air; as though there is no limit to what you can do or who you can be. I'm meeting and getting to know new people almost every day.
Yet I'm not going to go on and act like everything has been full of sunshine and roses, because that's definitely not the case. There has been a lot of adjusting, that of which I have to remind myself that it takes more than three weeks just to get used to it all. I'm not going to go into the details during this particular entry, but there have been struggles and hardships as well. The best thing that I'm probably taking out of that side of thing is a heavy amount of emotional growth and maturity. I don't feel like I'm the same person that I was before I came here.
Regardless, I must remind myself not to lose focus of my main reason for coming to this University; that being to get an education. As my mother would say, everything else is just icing on the cake. No matter what though, I am loving every minute of it!