October 14, 2009

This feeling...

You know, I feel really good right now; probably the best I've felt in a long time. I think it's a combination of things: I have a good sense of what I want, both for myself personally and what I want to do with my life. I've stopped focusing on the usual high school BS and kind of seperated myself from that stuff, if that makes any sense.

The biggest factor that has made a difference is just having confidence in myself; being able to just wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and say I feel good today. This is who I am, and I'm happy with myself. Thank you, Lord. And I don't neccessarily feel that way because of the people that are in my life or what's been happening. I've repeatedly learned that you truly cannot depend on people to make you happy; you have to be able to find happiness in the little things, the things you enjoy doing each and every day.

The hardest part about all of it is not letting my imagination get the best of me, to not expect so much where I set myself up for disappointment. But I'm in a good place, and I want people around me to know that. Better yet, I want them to actually see it. I'm finally starting to realize that so very few of my friends have actually seen the real me; the happy, bubbly person that I am deep down inside. It's just a matter of having that kind of attitude.

I think the key thing, as I've reiterated many times before, is taking things as they come; focusing on today, here and now, and nothing else.

I'm confident. I'm determined. I'm me, myself, and no one else.

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