You know, I feel really good right now; probably the best I've felt in a long time. I think it's a combination of things: I have a good sense of what I want, both for myself personally and what I want to do with my life. I've stopped focusing on the usual high school BS and kind of seperated myself from that stuff, if that makes any sense.
The biggest factor that has made a difference is just having confidence in myself; being able to just wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and say I feel good today. This is who I am, and I'm happy with myself. Thank you, Lord. And I don't neccessarily feel that way because of the people that are in my life or what's been happening. I've repeatedly learned that you truly cannot depend on people to make you happy; you have to be able to find happiness in the little things, the things you enjoy doing each and every day.
The hardest part about all of it is not letting my imagination get the best of me, to not expect so much where I set myself up for disappointment. But I'm in a good place, and I want people around me to know that. Better yet, I want them to actually see it. I'm finally starting to realize that so very few of my friends have actually seen the real me; the happy, bubbly person that I am deep down inside. It's just a matter of having that kind of attitude.
I think the key thing, as I've reiterated many times before, is taking things as they come; focusing on today, here and now, and nothing else.
I'm confident. I'm determined. I'm me, myself, and no one else.
October 14, 2009
October 12, 2009
Confessions of a Semi-bookworm
Ever since I was a little girl, I've always loved to read. I can't be sure as to what age I was when it became a hobby, but I do know that it stemmed from both my parents and grandparents reading picture books to me as a child. Around kindergarten and first grade I would check chapter books around from the library and have my parents read them aloud to me at night before I went to bed. Most of the time it was The Baby-Sitter's Club or the American Girl series based off of the dolls. By the time second grade rolled around, I had learned how to read chapter books on my own and could often read one or two in a day.
I included the word "semi" in the title for two reasons: 1.) I don't necessarily have as much time to sit down with a good book as I used to. I have alot going on these days and spend the majority of my time doing homework/studying, filling out college applications, and sleeping. 2.) I'm not one that reads every genre out there; I have my likes and dislikes, which I'll get to momentarily.
The way I see it, the world of literature is such a beautiful thing. Even before books started getting printed out on paper, there was the passing down of tradition and culture through telling stories out loud. (I'll admit, my neighbor does an amazing job at telling ghost stories around a campfire...he's creeped me out on more than one occassion.) When I read, it's like escaping into another world; sometimes it's similar to my life, and sometimes it's completely fictional.
The kinds of books that I like mostly center around fiction (romance, realistic, some young-adult oriented) and autobiographies/memoirs. There are people that have asked me "why bother with that kind of stuff when you can just read it in a magazine or a tabloid?" I happen to think that magazines and tabloids don't always tell the whole story, and at times, they don't even tell the truth. It's interesting to read a person's own words about their lives and their experiences. Plus one realizes that there is more to a celebrity than what is seen on television or written in some kind of news article.
There are so many to choose from when it comes down to personal favorites, but I think the one I've found myself reading repeatedly is Rachel's Tears, about one of the students' that was killed in the Columbine tragedy ten years ago. What got to me most was that it wasn't just about the tragedy in itself, or the people that made it happen. It was about a regular teenager who loved God with her absolute being and lived out her faith to the fullest extent. I admired the way she reached out to those who were considered "outcasts" and might not have fit in very well. Even today, her story moves me to tears. My favorite authors include Nicholas Sparks and Jodi Piccoult.
And yes, there are those that I don't take a particular interest in. I'm not big on science-fiction or anything involving politics. I find alot of self-help books (especially those pertaining to love and dating) to be kind of annoying. Harlequin novels, or any raunchy titles don't have a whole lot of substance and can get boring real fast.
I must say, I don't quite understand the stigma that is attached to reading now a days, especially with teenagers. Yet, I do respect the fact that there are people out there who don't like to do it, and thats not a bad thing.
This is something that I'll eventually do a later post on, but I neither understand why certain books are blown out of proportion, or even banned from shelves. I understand that parents have the right to be concerned with the material that their children read, and if they feel it be innapropriate, have them not do so. I just don't see the point in trying to take books completely out of public libraries. Again, this is an issue that I'll save for later on. It's something I feel strongly about.
Just a little short-note, I do plan on making future bloggings aimed more toward current events. I don't just want people to come here and read what's going on in my life and nothing else; I want them to learn a little bit about who I am, how I feel about issues in the world today, and why. One may or may not agree with what I'm saying, but hopefully they find my opinions interesting.
I included the word "semi" in the title for two reasons: 1.) I don't necessarily have as much time to sit down with a good book as I used to. I have alot going on these days and spend the majority of my time doing homework/studying, filling out college applications, and sleeping. 2.) I'm not one that reads every genre out there; I have my likes and dislikes, which I'll get to momentarily.
The way I see it, the world of literature is such a beautiful thing. Even before books started getting printed out on paper, there was the passing down of tradition and culture through telling stories out loud. (I'll admit, my neighbor does an amazing job at telling ghost stories around a campfire...he's creeped me out on more than one occassion.) When I read, it's like escaping into another world; sometimes it's similar to my life, and sometimes it's completely fictional.
The kinds of books that I like mostly center around fiction (romance, realistic, some young-adult oriented) and autobiographies/memoirs. There are people that have asked me "why bother with that kind of stuff when you can just read it in a magazine or a tabloid?" I happen to think that magazines and tabloids don't always tell the whole story, and at times, they don't even tell the truth. It's interesting to read a person's own words about their lives and their experiences. Plus one realizes that there is more to a celebrity than what is seen on television or written in some kind of news article.
There are so many to choose from when it comes down to personal favorites, but I think the one I've found myself reading repeatedly is Rachel's Tears, about one of the students' that was killed in the Columbine tragedy ten years ago. What got to me most was that it wasn't just about the tragedy in itself, or the people that made it happen. It was about a regular teenager who loved God with her absolute being and lived out her faith to the fullest extent. I admired the way she reached out to those who were considered "outcasts" and might not have fit in very well. Even today, her story moves me to tears. My favorite authors include Nicholas Sparks and Jodi Piccoult.
And yes, there are those that I don't take a particular interest in. I'm not big on science-fiction or anything involving politics. I find alot of self-help books (especially those pertaining to love and dating) to be kind of annoying. Harlequin novels, or any raunchy titles don't have a whole lot of substance and can get boring real fast.
I must say, I don't quite understand the stigma that is attached to reading now a days, especially with teenagers. Yet, I do respect the fact that there are people out there who don't like to do it, and thats not a bad thing.
This is something that I'll eventually do a later post on, but I neither understand why certain books are blown out of proportion, or even banned from shelves. I understand that parents have the right to be concerned with the material that their children read, and if they feel it be innapropriate, have them not do so. I just don't see the point in trying to take books completely out of public libraries. Again, this is an issue that I'll save for later on. It's something I feel strongly about.
Just a little short-note, I do plan on making future bloggings aimed more toward current events. I don't just want people to come here and read what's going on in my life and nothing else; I want them to learn a little bit about who I am, how I feel about issues in the world today, and why. One may or may not agree with what I'm saying, but hopefully they find my opinions interesting.
October 03, 2009
A season of change
By now, I'm sure alot of these posts regarding the transition of summer to autumn has grown pretty cliche. Truthfully, I've never been a fan of cold weather, and come January you'll probably hear me moaning and groaning about how badly I want to be able to go outside and wear shorts again. Yet for the very first time I find myself entranced with fall; the colors, the smell of leaves, a pumpkin-spiced latte from starbucks, burning candles in my room, wearing hoodies...it's just so...nice.
And as the title says, I feel as if this is a season of change; not just in weather, but in my life too. I'm visiting two more college visits next week, and hopefully by then I'll have founded a school that has cliqued for me. I hope to have all my applications done with by the end of october and get started on some scholarships.
I feel like I have finally gotten back into the groove of writing again. Not just on here, but writing in my private journal and other ideas that come to mind. I've found myself writing poetry alot more because of the trials and frustrations I've experienced over the past couple of weeks. I've come to the conclusion that if anything good can come out of my struggles, it's heartful and passionate thoughts transmitted from pen to paper.
I'll be posting about seperate topics eventually, I just can't be sure how often that'll be. But as I keep saying
One day at a time...
And as the title says, I feel as if this is a season of change; not just in weather, but in my life too. I'm visiting two more college visits next week, and hopefully by then I'll have founded a school that has cliqued for me. I hope to have all my applications done with by the end of october and get started on some scholarships.
I feel like I have finally gotten back into the groove of writing again. Not just on here, but writing in my private journal and other ideas that come to mind. I've found myself writing poetry alot more because of the trials and frustrations I've experienced over the past couple of weeks. I've come to the conclusion that if anything good can come out of my struggles, it's heartful and passionate thoughts transmitted from pen to paper.
I'll be posting about seperate topics eventually, I just can't be sure how often that'll be. But as I keep saying
One day at a time...
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