January 07, 2016

A Sweet '16.

When something new begins, whether it be a chapter, a year, or an era, it all tends to happen very quickly. I woke up on the first day of 2016 with a little anxiety, eager to start doing things differently, but wondering if I would slip back into old patterns again in a matter of weeks. It has felt like a whirlwind, but in a good way: I'm revving up the engine for some endeavors and taking a step back from others. More than anything, I'm confident that this is where I'm supposed to be, and that the only way to go is to continue to go forward.

Sometimes moving forward requires a plan and sometimes it doesn't. I am literally taking it all one day at a time, my only goal being that I build stronger relationships, including with God and myself. 

This year, I am open to making peace with my past, and creating a brand new, and incredibly bright future. 

This year, I want to feel whole, I want to feel comfortable, and I wanted to feel loved. 

I will say no to being bullied, manipulated, and taking responsibility for others' actions and emotions. 

I'll know that I'm on the right track when I'm doing something that is a reflection of who I am; when I am acting in faith instead of fear. And when I slip up, I'll gently but firmly remind myself that I am strong, that I am a fighter, but also that I am human. 

In December 2016, I want to look back and say that I did hard things. That I took risks. That I chose not to hide, but instead honor the quirks and traits that God gave me. 

I am growing. I am learning. But most importantly, I'm being. 

How sweet it is.

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