April 05, 2011

Perfectly Flawed

I think that's why we fit so well together...because we're both perfectly flawed people that tend to say and do things that don't make any sense. 


It's ironic, isn't it? Most of the time it comes across as an oxymoron at best. In this world, you're either the posterchild for perfection or the prime example of what's it's like to be completely screwed up. There's no in-between, supposedly.


There have been several times in my life where I've made friends and than have been told to "stay away from that person, they have issues." Or, I have been friends with someone for a long time, who often appears to be strong and all put together. But then when the bottom gives out, when they stumble and fall, I'm advised to "let go and move on with life." They're treated like a hunk of junk that either needs to be "fixed" or  simply tossed aside if they're not deemed "fixable"


However, I tend to believe that every single one of us is held together by some kind of glue; for certain people, it's their family, friends or spiritual/religious beliefs. Yet for others, it's sex, toxic relationships, or drugs and alcohol. There are even those who would try to stretch themselves so far out or even bend over backwards, so that they can personally hold themselves up. 


And whether they know it or not. there are those that are simply being held together with the wrong kind. Not because I personally believe it to be wrong, but because eventually that kind of glue will eventually cause  a person to fall apart. Maybe not now, or even years down the road. But eventually, something will give out. 


Truthfully, I tend to feel more drawn to people that aren't exactly in the best shape; the people that have struggled with major issues in the past, and might be even still struggling with them now. As I pointed out in one of my past blog posts (which can be found here) everybody is carrying some kind of baggage, whether they're willing to admit it or not. Most of my closest friends that I've made and kept for life are the ones where we both allowed ourselves to be vulnerable to each other; to let the other see that neither of us is as peachy keen as we look. 


They're the ones who have held me in there arms and let me cry for an hour straight, despite that looking back on it, the matter wasn't worth really crying over. They're the ones who made sure that I got home safely after having a bit too much fun, and instead of criticizing me, they simply said "it happens to all of us." They're the ones who will laugh with me when I act like a complete dork, and tell me not to worry when my brain goes into overdrive. 


When I say "perfectly flawed" I mean that it's our imperfections that tend to make us beautiful. Along with our strengths, our imperfections make up a part of who we are. If we were all completely perfect, there would be no reason to have relationships or connect with other people. If we were perfect, there would be no reason to give thanks or to pray. There would be no compassion and no reason to give of ourselves. There would be no need to work hard or to persevere. 


We would all merely be wandering the world in a bland existence, day in and day out. 


Yet, being perfectly flawed does not mean that one should constantly high light the things that aren't good about themselves, or offer it up as an excuse for making poor choices. It is a simple, yet humble admission of being human and accepting themselves and others. It does not mean that one should cease making an effort to become a better person, but to have realistic expectations in regards to their own character and the characteristics of those around them. 


If I ask for love and acceptance, is it fair for me not to do the same for others? 


All in all, that's what I believe true love to be, no matter in what context it's in. Being perfectly flawed allows the concept of loving another person to not just be a feeling, but a verb as well. And despite that I've said it before, I believe love to be one of the most amazing things one can do for another, as well one of the most amazing experiences one can have in life.

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